DEAR MONEY
 I WHERE ARE YOU? IM FLAT BROKE. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I NEED MORE TO SURVIVE. PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF. I WANT NEW JACKET TO MAKE ME WARM AND MAKE ME LOOK GOOD. IM THE SEX MACHINE..I SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK GOOD. I WANT NEW SHOES TOO. I WANT CHUK CHUK BECAUSE IM DRY ALREADY. BOOM SHAKALAKA!

im *****

dear bed,

i like you. i feel like sleeping but i dont want to. i like to go out.
i want to eat but im lazy. i want to take a bath but im glued to my seat. im the best in the whoooooolllleee wide world. im THE SEXMACHINE.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!